Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene: Happy as Ever!

Following the announcement by Demi Lovato that she's seeking treatment for an abundance of personal issues, Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene have found themselves under unexpected fire.
Fans of the 18-year old singer initially jumped to unfortunate conclusions and blamed Demi's ex for dating Greene so soon after he and Lovato broke up. The criticism has since died down, allowing these two to focus on their relationship.
Which, sources confirm, is going extremely well.

Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas: Coffee today, a ring tomorrow?!?

E! News quotes a friend that says Ashley's parents have met Joe and simply adore him. Look for this couple to spend the holidays together.

"They are happy as ever right now," says the pal.

And, hey, no signs yet that Greene is corrupting Jonas in any way. So that's good.

Dancing With the Stars: Who Will Win?

Does Jennifer Grey deserve it because of the physical ailments she's overcome and the high scores she's consistently produced, week in and week out?
Does unheralded, charismatic Kyle Massey get the nod thanks to the rare blend of technical merit and fun he and Lacey Schwimmer bring to the table?
Does Bristol Palin deserve it because ... well, presumably people have some reason for stuffing the virtual ballot box for Sarah's daughter each Monday.
Who should win Dancing With the Stars this evening?

The real (and possibly rigged, depending on who you believe) votes are cast, but THG's poll is open! Weigh in and watch the results along with us later ...

Megyn Kelly in GQ: Foxy News Anchor!

Everyday on Fox News, Megyn Kelly reports from her America Live desk. Now, GQ has decided: she's hot!
The blonde "reporter" is featured in the magazine's latest issue, showing just how fair her skin is and and just how balanced her... nevermind.

Among the topics Kelly tackles in the interview is the old rumor that she carried on an affair with fellow anchor Brit Hume. Megyn says of this story:

"I think Brit knew how preposterous it was to anyone with two nickels in between their ears. The first thing he said at his retirement dinner was "I haven't been this honored since that rumor about me having an affair with Megyn Kelly went around."

Clearly, this is a woman unafraid to embrace her sex appeal. But is that the proper attitude for the lead daytime anchor on the country's most watched news network? You tell us: Megyn Kelly in GQ is...

Michael Brea Suspected of Decapitating Mother with a Samurai Sword

This is as bizarre and as heinous a story as we could possibly imagine.
Michael Brea, a small-time actor who once appeared on Ugly Betty, has been taken into custody for allegedly chopping off the head of his mother with a samurai sword.

According to police reports, cops arrived to an "extremely bloody" scene at Brea's Brooklyn home around 2:20 this morning and found the actor holding a bible. They had to subdue him via taser.

A neighbor recounted events, as he/she heard them, to WPIX 11: "I hear [Brea] chasing [his mother] through the house and he's just saying a bunch of [Bible] passages like, 'Repent, Repent, Repent.' I heard him chasing her through the house and I heard a loud scream and so I have my father call the cops."

The victim was found with her head sliced off. At the moment, Brea is undergoing a psychiatric evaluation and then will be handed over to the NYPD.

Clear the Road: Lindsay Lohan Regains License

Lindsay Lohan has regained the right to operate a motor vehicle. We are happy for her ... and scared bit for residents of Palm Springs, California.
The L.A. County Probation Department and officials at the Betty Ford clinic signed off this morning, so Lindsay can drive again. Special treatment?
Not so much. Officials allow this for people "at Lindsay's care and treatment level," though it's still odd, as her legal problems stem from driving.

SCARED? It's LiLo, we wouldn't blame you. [Photo: Pacific Coast News]

Meanwhile, Michael Lohan is so stoked about his daughter regaining her driver's license, dude gave her his own Mercedes Benz to tool around town in!
Not only is she planning on having Thanksgiving with dad, she's cruising around in the (very expensive) wheels MiLo lent her to prove his trust.
Michael dropped the convertible off Monday for her to drive as she pleases. How nice. We'd still keep a lengthy following distance ... but nice.

A Royal Frenzy: Tabloids Concoct Coverage of Kate Middleton and Prince William Engagement

What's the only development that will get tabloids in more of a frenzy than rumors of an engagement between Kate Middleton and Prince William? That's easy:
An actual Kate Middleton and Prince William engagement.
Following months of speculation over whether this couple was broken up or already wedding planning, trashy magazines scrambled this week to find some unique angle on the fact that Kate and William are simply happy, together and engaged. Let's see what they came up with:

From stories on the "real" Kate (newsflash: she wears a bikini sometimes!) to inside dish on how Middleton has been molded into a princess, these publications claim to have it all. To wit:

Us Weekly reports Kate has received "royal assistance" for years, including lessons on the paparazzi-filled life of her late mother-in-law, Princess Diana. Says Katie Nicholl, author of "William and Harry: Behind the Palace Walls."

"About three years ago, palace staff started showing Kate video of Diana. Video of her getting out of a car and paparazzi going berserk, so that Kate would know how to deal with it. Now, she already knows how this works."

One of Kate's first lessons in this world: don't speak to tabloids such as Us Weekly.

Randy Quaid: Canada Saved My Life!

Increasingly crazy actor Randy Quaid says if it wasn’t for Canada's refugee system, he and his wife Evi would be dead. Thanks to the star whackers, natch.
Quaid made this comment as he entered his immigration and refugee board hearing in Vancouver, B.C. The couple faces an outstanding warrant in the U.S.
"If it wasn't for Canada's refuge system, my wife and I would be dead," Randy told CKNW Vancouver, adding that he "feels good" despite the drama.

BRINGING THE CRAZY: No one does it like the Quaids.

The strange couple, wanted for squatting in a home they used to own in California, is claiming refugee status because of a bizarre theory that they're in danger.
According to Randy and Evi Quaid, a random, roving gang of hooligans is hell-bent on ruining the lives of and/or murdering famous people such as themselves.
The situation became even stranger after the board determined that Evi Quaid could claim Canadian citizenship because her father was born in Canada.
Today's hearing will establish if Randy may remain in Canada. We sort of hope he can, for his sake, even if it'd be more entertaining if he came home.