The Real Housewives of Atlanta Welcome Mr. Luscious, Share Sex Stories

Who likes anal sex? Who could go for just a tad bit of oral? These answers and a lot more await readers who peruse our intern's latest recap of The Real Housewives of Atlanta...
Talk about a booming episode! Kandi has moved her Kandi Koated Nights webcast over to her boutique, TAGS, for some self-promotion.  Nene, Kim and Sheree are her guests on a particularly raunchy segment.  Cynthia even shows up to get sex tips. But the girls got more than they bargained because Kandi apparently is getting her jollies these days by asking freakier and freakier questions.
What's your freak number? Have you ever peed on anyone?  Sheree's willing to experiment, so she's a 9.  Kim doesn't mind anal, so that makes her a 7.  Nene's into just a little oral, so she's a 3. Cynthia's a 6.  The girls are then treated to a triple X visit from Mr. Luscious, a Hulk-like chocolate stripper with a humongous "sock."

 

Cynthia takes 50-year-old Peter and her personal stylist to meet with Tony Conway, Atlanta's top celebrity event planner, to discuss her dream wedding. 

Going for a silver-and-chocolate themed, candle-lit evening motif with a mix of antique and modern, the planner promises 50-year-old Peter that he'll keep the budget under one million.  Gotta make it extra special for Cynthia... and Atlanta, of course!

Nene goes with her friend to meet with Randy Kessler, a top divorce lawyer in Atlanta.  She and Gregg are definitely not in a good place. Nene's doing her research and needs some advice.  She needs time to decide what to do about this situation and wants this to be a wake up call for Gregg.  Looking to scare him straight, she decides to file for divorce.  Game on!

Kim takes 13-year-old Brielle shopping for an abstinence ring.  The fugly brat is scared of STDs and an unplanned pregnancy (ironic, huh?) and decides that a $3,000 diamond encrusted ring should do the job of snapping those legs shut.  Apparently, though, there's no hope for eight-year-old Ariana who, according to Kim, "came out of the womb looking for a man."

Kandi goes into the studio to rework "The Ring Don't Mean A Thing" and is still annoyed that she's not making any money off "Tardy for the Party."  She records a new version of the song for Kim to approve and basically decides Kim can lump it if she doesn't like it.  There are plenty of real artists out there who will actually PAY good money for the song.

Phaedra and Apollo come home from Augusta with little Aydan Adonis.  Phaedra had to spend a week in the hospital and now she's ready to face motherhood.  No longer "fancy free and footloose," she's chained to this baby.  Due to complications arising from her C-section, Apollo has to literally carry Phaedra around the house. 

Kim and Nene get together to discuss their marital woes.  Well, Nene's the only married one, but as usual Kim makes the conversation all about her and tells Nene that she's getting to the point of being done with Big Poppa.  She wants a future with an available man and may even want more kids.  Flash forward to the present, Kim. Wish granted!

While over at Kim's parents home with her mom and aunt, Kandi hears about Gregg's radio interview with a local DJ from Kim.  Listening to it on an iPad, Kandi's shocked at Gregg's utter lack of indiscretion.  Gregg not only accuses Nene of using him but claims to have invested $300K in making Nene a "star."  Sheree and ladyboy Lawrence also hear about the interview and are flabbergasted and fascinated.  Did Gregg know he was being recorded?  Even so, how can you be so stupid and discuss such intimate things with a total stranger? 

Kandi doubts Nene will reconcile with Gregg after hearing about this.

Sheree and Lawrence are doing a boxing workout where Lawrence asks Sheree about the Love Doctor.  Has Sheree confronted the defensive fake doctor yet?  Hang on, Ladyboy.  It's coming!

Kandi drags Kim out to her car and demos the new and improved "The Ring Don't Mean A Thing" for her.  Surprise: Kim loves it!  She tells Kandi she never doubted her for a moment.  She just wanted to get her way.  Thanks for the input, Quincy.

Sheree finally confronts the Love Doctor while at an outdoor lunch.  There's no communication, no trust and no honesty in this "relationship" so Sheree wants out.  Realizing that the "doctor" is a tit-for-tat kinda guy, Sheree just wants some kind of proof that he's a doctor.  The Love Doctor wants some kind of proof that Sheree's a woman.  What?!?  Time to hit the bricks, dude.  And, by the way, who's paying for lunch?

Nene's first day at work is going along pretty well.  Breaking in her new laptop and doing some online research, she sees her own face in a local gossip item.  Gregg's backstabbing hits her full on. Nene laughs it off, but inside she's dying.  Nene also learns she can be fired for this because contractually it puts her in a bad light.  11 Alive's anchor, Karyn Green, tells Nene she better handle this with Gregg.  Obviously something's wrong because "dogs don't bark at parked cars."

Nene and Gregg get into a huge nasty fight when Nene comes home from her first day on the job.  How can Gregg have done this to her?  What $300K?  Nene throws everything back in Gregg's face and wants what she's invested in him back, as well.  The argument escalates into a he-said/she-said debacle, which is shocking.  Nene's pissed that Gregg obviously never had her back and realizes she doesn't know this person standing in front of her.  Gregg accuses Nene of the same thing.  Nene is beyond livid and says she's married to a monster. 

Game over.

 

Bristol Palin Should've Won Dancing With the Stars!

LOL. No, we don't really believe the above headline.
Jennifer Grey is as worthy a Dancing With the Stars champion as they come. But Bristol Palin, for all that was said about her, got kind of a bad rap.
Her third-place finish was, in the opinion of many pundits and Palin haters, waaay too high. But was it actually just about right ... or not high enough?

America's collective reaction to Bristol's DWTS run.

We've talked at length about why she should have gone home sooner, but now, let's give the girl her due. Here's a list of reasons Bristol deserved to win it ...

1. She improved A LOT this fall, and Jennifer Grey? Kind of a ringer.
2. Brandy and Audrina fans could've stepped up too, and did not.
3. She wasn't a complete stiff. Seriously. She's no Kate Gosselin.
4. Her scores never led the pack, but were always competitive.
5. She's not Sarah Palin, and isn't worthy of that kind of vitriol.
6. Thanks in part to Bristol, Willow Palin went off on Facebook.

 

Leslie Nielsen Passes Away at 84

Leslie Nielsen, an actor who starred in some of the funniest movies ever made, has passed away from complicated related to pneumonia. He was 84.
Best known for his deadpan delivery of ridiculous lines, Nielsen anchored such films as Airplane! and The Naked Gun. His agent confirmed that he died near his home in Fort Lauderdale early Sunday evening, in the company of his "lovely wife and friends."

Said nephew Doug Nielsen of his uncle, who had been hospitalized for nearly two weeks prior to his passing:

"Just in this last 48 hours, the infection has gotten too much. He just fell asleep and passed away."

In Nielsen's honor, we encourage readers to submit their favorite movies quotes from the actor. We'll begin:

Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

Shoes With Attitude: Gotta Have It or Make It Stop?

Jamie McCarthy Michael Kovac/ Michael Loccisano/WireImage

Hollywood is stepping out in style, having more fun with footwear than should be allowed by law, per some of our Fashion Police panel.
Sarah Jessica Parker, Solange Knowles and Nicole Kidman are just some of the stars who aren't afraid to go beyond basic black pumps when they strut their stuff down the red carpet.
The Sex and the City star braved the Harry Potter premiere last week in these towering baby blue lace-up shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood, while Beyoncé's baby sis matched her bright purple heels to her lipstick at a Range Rover event, and Keith Urban's honey accompanied him to the CMA Awards in tomato red L'Wren Scott stilettos.
So who's on board with these bold shoe picks? Not Joan and Melissa, who are begging these over-the-top hoofers to "make it stop" But it's not all bad. George and Kelly say "gotta have it!" Whose side will you step over to?

Five Things We Learned After Reading Kardashian Konfidential

Reality show? Check. Jewelry and perfume lines? Check. Modeling gigs, stores, marriage, a baby? Yup. Damn, it is hard to keep up with this family. All that's left is a book. Well, now they've got that covered too.
E!'s Kardashian trifecta of Kourtney, Kim and Khloé is spilling everything in the just-released triple-authored "sisterhood autobiography" called Kardashian Konfidential.
And, yes, it's hot pink and gold with lipstick stamps all over it.
We've gotten a hold of the book and can tell you it makes for some juicy holiday reading. What secret scandals (there are some left!) did we learn about the sisters? We'll tell you…


1. The now happily married Khloé Kardashian Odom lost her virginity at 14: Long before Lamar, the youngest of the three used to steal stepfather Bruce Jenner's car and drive to secret sex sessions with an older boyfriend.
Now 26, Khloé reveals that back then she lied about her age to her elder guy, but dishes out some wise advice in the book. "You should never, ever have sex when you're that young," she writes. "Feeling rushed and pressured and unsure should have been my clue that I wasn't ready to take that step."
2. Kourtney's a borderline OCDer: The oldest sibling says she needs her fridge "perfect." Her glasses and dishes "perfectly lined up." Nothing can be out of order. She also "has to have" pink dish gloves. She worships cleanliness so much, she says she needs all the same style of hanger and forces baby daddy Scott Disick to do the same. She folds and hangs her clothing in color order, groups of blacks, grays and neutrals. Kourtney says it all stems from her dad, famed lawyer Robert Kardashian, who was the same way. "My dad was very organized, is not like that at all. Why wouldn't you have them [your clothes] lined up according to colors? I don't get it. Mason will definitely know better."
3. They dish on O.J. SImpson and how their family was involved: Although brushing over the infamous 1994 murder case case in the book, the sisters do reveal one interesting tidbit. While we knew that dad Robert, close with the former footballer since their college days, was a member of Simpson's Dream Team, we didn't realize that the infamous white Bronco slow-speed chase actually started at the Kardashian home.
4. Kim almost fainted when she met J.Lo. Oh, and J.Lo's the one who made Kim love her big booty. Kim writes that even though she's got fans, she's still one herself. "I really, really like J.Lo," she confesses. "I identify with her curves and she made me think it was sexy to have a big booty."
Kim notes she was so obsessed with the singer, she practically fainted when they finally met at a valet stand at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
"I see her walking towards the valet and I was literally shaking. I said 'I'm going to faint, Jennifer Lopez is right there,' " writes Kim. "I was too nervous, what if she turned out different? She couldnt have been nicer."
Kim says that the two have gotten to know each other and that J.Lo's been very supportive of her career. "She's been so amazing to me."
5. Kim's secretly into her many copycats: We knew she loved herself, but who knew she loved all her lookalikes, too? Kim says although she's now a celeb, she still loves to get out of VIP and mingle with the little people. "I like to go out in the crowd and take pics," she says of the girls who are dressed in her style. She says she gets "excited" to see them and doesn't want to let the fame ever get to her head.
"I like being myself, I don't want to be unapproachable," she says.
The book, which landed on shelves this week, also includes never-before-seen personal pictures, childhood stories, dating advice and even diary entries.

Week in Review: Bristol Palin Loses It in the End

NATIONAL PHOTO GROUP

Are you missing something?
Over the past week or so, there were major engagements, majestic fashions and even some massive movie and music releases. We've seen plenty of teen angst, teen triumphs and teens who turned into stars (some as if by magic).
But you just want to look at the pictures, right?
No problem. We've put together the biggest, best and just plain weirdest shots of the week for your enjoyment, so what are you waiting for? Enjoy...

Hulk and Spidey and Buffy—What's With All the Reboots?

Universal Pictures; WB; Sony Pictures

Why are we seeing so many stupid so-called "reboots" of old ideas like Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
—88Vibey, via the inbox
I hope you boarded up your windows before you sent me this. Vampire lovers are so rabid in their fandom they're liable to storm your house. (Here, I'll create a diversion for you: Robert Pattinson has a head like bleached a cinder block. Run!)
Anyway, here's why The Hulk, Buffy, Superman and Spider-Man are all being reset and retold from the beginning:


Money. Or, more specifically, guaranteed money.
"Reboots are going to succeed more often," says Tim League of the theater franchise Alamo Drafthouse.
"People are more aware of the concept you're promoting, so it's a safer route. And you succeed more often than you fail."
Even more importantly, he says, you're more likely to know your profits early. Advance ticket sales are much easier to pull off if customers know what they're going to see—well, in advance.
That's opposed to brand-new movie ideas, which do not lend themselves to pre-sales, League tells me. Instead, theater owners and moviemakers have to wait longer for their money to come in, because new ideas require time for good word of mouth to get around. (Of course, that did work out for Avatar.)
That idea also translates to television. The Hulk is coming back to TV, with the help of Pan's Labyrinth director Guillermo del Toro, who is on board to co-create the new reboot.
Is it greedy for moviemakers to keep revisiting old ideas instead of working a little harder to find fresh ones? I'll tell you, in my latest podcast!